Sometimes, I don’t feel worthy. Now, some might think I am really stuck on myself and think I am the stuff, but if I do, I swear it’s not all the time….
There are some wonderful occasions in my life, things that, when they happen, I think, “What did I do to deserve this joy?”
When my husband thanks me for the food I just haphazardly served him, I think it.
When my dogs lay by me and look at me as if I am some kind of Goddess, I think it.
When I look outside, see sunshine, flowers and flowing water, our trees swaying in the breeze, I think it.
When our grandchildren throw their arms around me and smile up at me, when they bring me notes telling me how they love me, I think it.
I think it even when I have a good hair day, or the steak I cooked is actually medium rare and tender!!
I think it when my pretty shoes don’t hurt my feet!!
I think it when friends or family call to chat, and I get a good laugh or hear good news.
I think it when I wake up in the morning and all is well in our world.
I think it when the house is clean and orderly and I light that candle, which in our house, means the cleaning is over and it’s time for a cup of coffee and some guilty pleasure television.
Now, understand this is not a guilt thing. I know I have worked hard and gone through a lot in my life. I know most of you have as well…
I don’t consider my blessings as undeserved. I relish all of them. I do deserve them.
It’s just that sometimes the blessings overwhelm me. They make me wish I had been a better person all these years. They sometimes bring to mind the things I have done wrong. I am happy to have survived some of the choices I made, and happy to take what is good and joyful
You may be tiring of hearing the term “count your blessings.” My momma always said if you count a centipede’s legs, your teeth would fall out. Whether or not that is true, I know you can’t count a centipede’s legs, because he is crawling away and has way too many legs.
And, believe it or not, I don’t ever try to actually count my blessings. I can’t count that high.
