Old Age…Road Trips…Neither Are For Sissies

Some of you have already figured out that the old adage “Old Age Ain’t For Sissies” is totally true. Accept it, people!!!

If you are over fifty, if you are wearing Daisy Dukes and sporting that wrinkled cleavage, you probably don’t agree with that saying, but, hey…that’s for you to figure out..bless yore pea pickin’ heart.

For those of you who HAVE got it figured out, I know for a fact you have proof that old age requires bravery and acceptance….and this is not for you who don’t accept it…. this is for you who do.

Have you noticed how the conversations go so off kilter when you are in the car? There’s something about car noise that makes hearing impossible at this stage in our lives…we may be going to the store or traveling to a much longed for destination, but oh Lord, how the conversations can go wrong!!!!!

You see, we have hearing loss in opposite ears. This means my husband can hear better in his left ear and I hear better in my right ear. This sometimes puts us in “car hearing hell”, and thank God we love each other, because it could, but never does, become violent…

….not that I am not THINKING of violence….I just don’t look good in jail clothing……and that picture in the Hard Times ALWAYS makes a person look guilty, even if they have gone all the way to Birmingham to get what I once heard referred to as a “real lawyer.” Side note:: I do think we have real lawyers right here in the Shoals, but apparently some people think Birmingham has real lawyers and are willing to pay big money to get them….but that’s a whole ‘nother story……

Back to being in the car with an older person, namely me and my man. We married later in life, we are getting older together and let me tell you….this getting old is getting old…

Here is an example of a road trip with us, and if you would still ride in a car with us after this, then you ARE brave and probably deserve at least a Silver Star……

Me: “Look! That store looks awesome!! Pull in!”

Him: “Sweetheart, if you see somewhere you want to stop, just let me know….”

Me: “I just said pull in!!”

“Him: “No, I’m not hungry yet. We can eat in the next town.”

Me “Grrrrrrrrrrrrrr………………………..!”

We drive a few more miles, and I see a beautiful gardening center. I decide to get a jump on the whole situation.

Me: “PULL IN THERE AT THAT GARDENING STORE!!”

Him: “Well, you don’t have to yell…………”

We, through some act of God, end up at the gardening store.

Him: “Look Sweetheart, you would like this…..”

Me: “Watch who you are calling Miss Priss..”

Him: “ I didn’t say………….oh, never mind…..”

Me: “Fine. Fine then.”

Him: “Find what?”

Me: “Huh? What are you trying to find?”

Him: “Oh, forget it………….”

We drive until we are hungry.

Him: (pointing) “That looks like a good place to stop.”

Me: “It’s a restaurant, that’s not a shop.”

Him: “Huh?”

Me: “What?”

Him: “Are you hungry yet?”

Me: “I am NOT having a fit!”

Him: “Never mind…”

He pulls into the restaurant.

Me: “You want chicken?”

Him: “No, I didn’t start picking…….”

Me: “huh?”

Him: “Never mind, just tell me where you want to eat…”

Me: “If you didn’t want to eat why did you pull into the parking lot?”

Him: “No, I’m not gonna eat a lot…..”

Me: “Say you want something hot?”

So, you see…you must learn to decipher and decode one another’s every sentence!

I think after all these years we have learned to read each others faces….and let me tell you, that takes true love….

Him: “You have something on your nose.”

Me: “No, I don’t need any new clothes.”

Him “I said “nose”…..

Me: “Yes, I didn’t cut that little hair off yours before we left. You should have reminded me.”

Him: “I am always kind to you!”

True love travels on a gravel road.

So, if you and yours are getting older and having to help each other up and down stairs, having weird conversations because neither of you hear well..let me say this…..just go on and decide that old age ain’t for sissies and brave up!!!

It may be a gravel road but it sure has pretty scenery and lots of wild flowers and beautiful leaves and a blue sky…………….I wouldn’t trade it for all the world…….

I wonder if they make Hover Rounds two people can use at the same time..with two seats? I would even give in to his side being Tennessee Orange and my side being Crimson!!