For Every Season….Turn…Turn….Turn

by Sheila Colston
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thanksgivingWell, the leaves are starting to fall, the air is cooler, our plants are starting to look a bit weary, and I am digging through my socks, leg warmers, jackets and scarves…

Where have I been? Did we even have a summer? I didn’t even have time to get a tan!!

Every fall, we pressure wash the house….It’s getting to be a bit dangerous in our old age, but we keep the faith, and the phone nearby….Tony  didn’t scream even once when he washed off the spider webs hanging on the outside of the house.

Maybe his silence was an indication of his terror, but I am not ready to call him out on that just yet….let him have his manly moments!!

PersonalIy, I  wanted to leave the spider webs as Halloween decorations…..

September 2013 Fair day 4As for me, I am leaving doors and windows open, watching the curtains billow out. I will deal with the occasional fly just to get that fresh air feeling!

Fall means the coming of the State Fair… I don’t like the fair, and I ain’t going!

I can do without winning a dirty stuffed giraffe, rides that spin you around till you feel like you’ve hit every bar in three states twice, and throwing up bratwurst with onions and peppers  behind a tent filled with five legged or two headed animals……

Tony and I once took our granddaughter to the fair. She stomped her little feet and insisted on candy, popcorn, ice cream, corn dogs, on the way in.

I asked, “Are you going to ride some of these rides? You should do that before you eat….”September 2013 fair day 6

We had to pick her up off the ground where she was throwing a perfect hissy fit..it was a sight to behold….

When I taught her how to have a hissy, I never expected it would be used against me…..!

She got the food, and later, we had to wash her face and hold her little head while she tossed her cookies right out in public with all the other kids strolling by, looking all sweet and healthy. She just looked green around the gills and wanted to go home….

So you see why the fair is not my favorite place to be. I have many memories of lost shoes dropped from rides, various and sundry pukers, and gazillions of dollars spent on throwing something at something to win nothing.

But that’s just me, you go on to the fair if you want to!!!

What I do love is to take pictures in the fall. I love the leaves. I love the air. I love the colors. I love…………wait!!….I don’t love Halloween any more 12244851_10203722275096868_7093232644206943347_oeither!! I used to think Halloween could not survive without me, but I have spent the last few of them on the couch, watching scary movies on tv and hoping no kids come to the door, because there is no candy…

I don’t think their parents would appreciate finding a vodka mini in their kids treat bag, and I don’t relish seeing myself in a mug shot..….

Alas, Thanksgiving is approaching as well. Turkeys are in danger all over the country. Kids are already wearing Indian head dresses and Pilgrim hats home from school.

thanksgivingPeople are attempting to pull family members in, to share their pots of beans and dressing and cranberry sauce. I think this year I am going to cancel Thanksgiving dinner, and just have cheese dip, some stale chips, and a couple of bags of microwave popcorn….

It gets to be so much work, then family members come in the door telling how many other places they gotta go and that they have to leave soon, sorry they didn’t bring any food, and what are we doing for Christmas?

Ahhh………….that dreaded holiday, Christmas! Since decorations have already been in stores for weeks and weeks, I feel like I have already had Christmas….I’m tiring of it already………

Santa is starting to be a bit creepy, and all the kids want are electronics that cost a gazillion dollars each…..sigh……Kids don’t even know why we have Christmas anymore, and driving through the Shoals area turns into a nightmare…

The dogs knock the tree over, it usually rains, and its over in five minutes, leaving you with that feeling of emptiness and a pile of wrapping paper 3742107474_tumblr_lzeqs4Ql4b1r09u21o1_500_answer_1_xlargestuffed in a black trash bag…

Yes, I admit I am a bit of a Scrooge, a bit jaded, and a bit lazy…well, okay, a whole lotta lazy……

Now, I know why bears hibernate….It’s so they don’t have to do Fall and Winter!!

It’s so they don’t have to shop, make costumes, tour pumpkin patches,  wrap gifts, pretend to like turkey, smile for pictures, wear mittens, get a dog untangled from the Christmas tree, deal with grouchy holiday haters, drive in bumper to bumper traffic, walk the mall with feet inflamed with planter fasciitis,  or take their lives in their hands in the Walmart electronics department!

Bears are way smarter than they look……

I am soooo looking forward to…….. Springtime!!

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