I suppose most all you facebookers have at least one friend you have never actually met in person.
How they get to be your friend is irrelevant.. they are, and when the messages and comments become more fun as time goes on, you say to yourself, “Self, I hope one day to meet this person.”
Not long ago, I made a friend I have never laid eyes on…but she and I are actually sisters. Although we do not have rhyming names, we actually think we are twins, separated at birth by parents who tore their faces and screamed in horror at there being two of us and sent one off to another town.
Since our names don’t rhyme (Vickie and Sheila sound nothing alike) we figure that was part of their plan to keep us from ever finding each other. It protects the world from all the havoc we may wreck upon it….
I don’t blame our parents……they made the best decision for their sanity! If you met the both of us, you would certainly agree!!! Maybe one day, we will do a DNA test to prove or disprove our theory…….
If you are from the Shoals area, you are probably familiar with On the Rocks, on Court Street, and the benches they have on either side as you go into the place.
These benches are used occasionally for my own poor feet, and a little break from digging through dishes, shoes, clothes, books, albums, and things that I don’t know what are, in the Salvation Army Store.
I have crocheted or knitted on those benches a few times. I have eaten several Trowbridge’s ice cream cones while sitting there, as well as used them for an “almost nap.” I even used them once as a “time out bench” for two of the grandchildren!
Anyway, my husband and I were sitting at the bar one day, and I looked out at the benches. I don’t know what made me look, unless it was God and He was telling me to. That’s how He pulls His little stunts once in a while.
There was a guy sitting there, all alone. I did a double take. I did another double take.
I said to Tony, “If I didn’t know better, I would swear that’s my face book friend from Colorado out there on that bench.”
Tony said, “Maybe you don’t need another Sex on the Beach, and we should eat something.”
I snarled my best southern woman snarl and ordered another drink…..but I kept looking at the guy on the bench.
Then I heard someone say to him, “Hey, Bill!”
It was him!! It was the guy I had shared so many laughs with on facebook!
He is irreverent, sarcastic, hilarious, goofy, friendly, sometimes sad, and often causes me to laugh hysterically. He is self effacing, unafraid, bold, crazy, a music lover, and he is from the Shoals, originally.
I got my purse off the back of my stool and went out. He was still alone. I decided he was going to get a little surprise.
Now I have been told many times that I don’t act like I look. I take that to mean I look way smarter and more classy than I really am, but it’s no insult to me. Let those folks alone who think I look like I only shop at Dillard’s and act like I know a lot of stuff…
Inside myself I am still that girl out in the country, driving a rusty truck that wont go into 
reverse, with a dog in the back, fishing, swilling the occasional Bud Lite, picking poke sallet, and taking rocks home because they look like something. I have enough “letter shaped rocks” to spell my whole name……
I went to Bill and set myself down right beside him. He didn’t look up. I sighed real big. He still didn’t look up.
I scooted a bit closer to him. He didn’t look. I said, “Nice evening…” He didn’t look…danged if he didn’t have the best self control ever!!
I scooted over so close that we were touching shoulders. This time, he looked at me with disgust …….and he scooted way, way away!!
Oh hell no!!!!!!! I scooted closer, he moved away, I scooted closer, he moved down. We were about to tumble off the end of the bench when I finally said, “Bill!!! Stop scooting down!!” He looked at me as if I had grown another head on my right shoulder…..
I told him who I was. Of course, he laughed, we hugged, we both talked at the same time.
And, like so many others, he said, “You don’t look like you talk and act.”
We spent time joking around, handing over info about ourselves, and laughing. We decided to
have a beer when he came back here, and we did. We are still friends to this day, years later. I have even given him a nickname. I found out one of my friends used to baby sit Bill when he was a little kid, which he still is, in ways, thank goodness.
So, go ahead and turn some strangers into friends….Sometimes it turns out just fine.
However, this Internet dating stuff is a bit terrifying, so be careful if you’re doing that……and remember.. a park is NOT a public place!
You gotta meet these potential ax murdering strangers in TRUE public places, where there are lots of people with badges, guns, security cameras, billy clubs, mace, pepper spray…
Okay, I will get off that high horse and say that facebook is a fantabulous thing, allowing me to make many new friends and re-meet some folks from way back, whom I had lost track of.
It makes me feel like I am in a big crowd of people and they ALL pay attention to me!!!!!
And as one who sometimes sports a green wig and a tiara, you KNOW attention is ………well……..as that ex con, Martha Stewart says, A Good Thing….
