Because I Said So

So, you have one of THOSE mothers. She thinks she owns you, tells you what to wear, what to do, how to do it, and never tells you WHY to do it. Her byword is “because I said so.”

Here is what those kinds of mothers will do…….they will stalk you and your friends. They will make phone calls, peek into windows, force you to wear clothes that cover you up way too much, tell you to get your hair out of your eyes, and to get off that computer and get your room cleaned.

They will tell you that you can have a dog only if you take care of it, then they will MAKE you take care of it!

They will make you try on shoes at Walmart while you pray none of your friends are watching.

They will make you bring in firewood when its summer, just to give you something to do.

They will look at you askance when you say a bad word, or slap your jaws if it’s a REAL bad word. Then they will say, “Go ahead and call the DHR, and when this gets over with,I am gonna slap you twice as hard!”

They will force you to go with them to see your grandparents, even though they are old, boring and only talk about their bunions and heart stents.

They will make you sit in the back seat of the car. They will tell you stories of how it was when they were kids, and cause you to roll your eyes.

If your friends have a gazillion tattoos, that big hole in both ears, and wear a shirt that says things like “Today is not your day”, these kinds of mothers will get you off to the side and ask questions.

Questions such as, Where does she live, who are her parents, is she in school, how are her grades, does she smoke pot, why do you like her? Then, these mothers will give that friend a chance to prove herself.

Now, these types of mothers will get on your last nerve. They will cause you to roll your eyes, throw the remote, slam your door, keep secrets, and refuse to eat dinner. They will cause you to sulk, whine, scream, and threaten to run away.

Dang those mothers!!!!!!!

Now, let us fast forward. You have a couple of kids of your own now. You have a job, but not enough money.

You have to divide a peanut butter sandwich for supper.

Your car needs tires and a battery, but that’s impossible.

One day, you come home from work, tired, weary and broke. Your kids are smart mouthing you, and there is nothing in the fridge. You sit and watch a television that could be turned off by Comcast any second now.

Suddenly, your mind takes over and you start to ……………think!

You can’t help it. It is out of your control.

You remember your mother working two jobs and still doing laundry and cooking. She didn’t complain, but you could hear her sigh once in a while, and sometimes she had you rub her shoulders for a quarter.

You remember your mother on Christmas morning…she had a little look of worry on her face as you opened the few gifts she could afford. You are disappointed that your boots are not real leather, but you smile and thank her, because after all, she has raised a decent kid.

You remember your mother’s hair growing out and wishing she would get a hairdo. You remember her wearing house shoes with holes in them, and you prayed your friends didn’t notice.

You remember her watching television late into the night, knowing she had to go to work the next day. It occurs to you, finally, that she was not watching television….she was worrying, and couldn’t sleep.

You remember her traveling two days on a bus, scared to death, but doing all she could to get to you when you had a cancer diagnosis and surgery.

Now, your mind starts to look at yourself. You had a mother who drove you crazy with her love, and you have turned out okay.

She taught you right from wrong, responsibility and sacrifice. She taught you that to love is to sometimes hurt. She taught you that work will not kill you.

She taught you to keep your good friends and toss away the bad influences.

She taught you that your old jeans look pretty good if they are clean and you have a cute shirt. She taught you that it’s not imperative to have expensive things.

She taught you that your children are everything….

So, in a fit of motherhood, you go to your phone. You call both your kids and tell them you love them, ask what they had for supper and if everything is alright with them.

You look at a picture of your own mother, and thank her for being that stalker, that aggravating woman who made you change out of a skirt that was too short.

You thank her for all the fried potatoes, the clean laundry, and the vinyl go go boots.

You think about the new eyeliner pencils she always made sure you had because you were in love with the boy next door and wouldn’t go to the mailbox without eyeliner on your eyes!

You think about the times you came home and found a new dress or blouse on your bed.

You think about the cakes she made on your birthdays, and the times she brought lemonade out to you when you were pushing a lawnmower.

You think about the times she called your friends houses to make sure you REALLY were there…….

Oh, those mean, griping, stalking mothers……

God still makes ‘em, you know. You may be one of them. If you are, thank goodness you exist. Thank goodness you can look at your kid and think “I am not raising a child, I am raising an adult, and I am doing a good job.”
And if you are a young person, being raised to adulthood by a conniving, stalking, worrying, demanding mother……you better thank your lucky stars!!!

Happy New Year, everyone!!

If you still have your mother, make this the best year ever for her.

Go over to see her, call her, send her notes of love, hug her so tight she grunts. Take her places, even if she complains about the food in every restaurant.

Brush her hair, tell her what a great mother she is. Sit beside her while she watches Lifetime movies….it won’t kill you, I promise.